Should Parents Approve of the People You Date?

April 29, 2011 cassidym1

Tags: dating, parental approval

When it comes to dating, parental approval varies from family to family. Some families have rules about how old one must be to date, while others have no rules at all. Parental approval is necessary for the safety of the child and because parents are more mature and experienced.

It is necessary that parents approve of the people their children date for the safety of their kids. In some instances, parents are better aware of when a child is jeopardizing their safety and/or future by dating a specific person than the child may be. Once teenagers hit adolescence, they often want to become more independent and, therefore are distancing themselves from their parents and less often listening to what their parents have to say. This makes them want to do and believe things contradicting their parents beliefs. Hence, if teenagers know their parents morals are against drinking, they may date someone who often does in order to be rebellious. In short, parental approval often is important in the teenage years to keep children safe and away from bad morals or abusive relationships.

Parents should also approve of the people their children date because they are more mature and experienced. They are older, and therefore wiser, having experienced more of the “real world” than most high schoolers have. Having been through college and worked a real job already, parents know what is best for their child’s future. Most everything else parents do is in order to prepare their children for success in the future, and whether us children want to believe it or not, it is in their best interest that we do well. Therefore, parents’ opinions on who their child dates should be in the front of a the child’s mind when deciding because they know best what is most beneficial for their children’s futures.

Parents should approve of the people their children date in order to keep their children safe and because we are less wise and mature than they are. It is in their best interest to keep their family safe and provide the next generation with a better life than they had. It’s just part of being a parent that allows them to have some say in who their children date.

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2 Comments Add your own

1. 1. Andy McPherson&hellip  |  May 4, 2011 at 6:18 pm

   It is tough to be a teenager. I remember being in high school and the difficult time dealing with social pressures, my parents and school. Good times? Well, maybe but, I suspect that my recollection of the past is a somewhat romanticized (how’s that for a word to tie in my views on dating) view of the past.

   To keep it simple, as a father of two daughters, I originally thought that my girls should never date . I remember vividly the day my seventh grade daughter got in the car and asked loudly, “Am I allowed to date!”. I about ran off the road.

   In the time since then, I have relaxed my views. Teenagers need to be able to have their own experiences and sometimes make their own mistakes. As parents we need to try and act as a “safety net”, allowing our kids to fall a bit but not crash. We try to accomplish this in many ways: some overt, such as saying “no” to certain things. Other more covert (some might call it snooping or creeping), such as monitoring their phone usage, reading their Facebook pages or looking through their room.

   I remember being a teenager and hating everything my parents did. It was a tough time and it was always easy to find friends whose parents didn’t seem to care where they went, who they hung out with or what time they came home. Now, I feel a bit sorry for those kids.

   I don’t think that parents expect their kids to be perfect or that kids should never feel the pain of their mistakes. We just want to know what our kids are doing and help them avoid make big mistakes.

   To help us parents out, there are a number of things kids can do:

   • Talk to us. We like to hear what’s going on in your lives and what you’re working on. We feel better just knowing things.

   • Don’t freak out everytime we ask a question. When you get upset it just makes us think you have something to hide.

   • Let us meet your friends and those you are dating. Maybe even let us get to know their parents. The more we know, the better we feel.

   • Don’t worry that we’re trying to protect you from everything. We are . Just know that we love you and we try to do what’s best for you.

   • Try to follow your parent’s rules. Be home by curfew, let us know when you’re changing plans and keep your interests varied. All things in moderation.

   • Keep your room clean. This really doesn’t relate to dating but it’s always good to keep it in the discussion.

   • Dress appropriately.

   To sum things up, girls of fathers should never date. If they chose to not follow this advice, then follow the above advice.

   I enjoyed reading Cassidy’s thoughts on dating. Practice what you preach. Cassidy does a good job of talking to us and letting us know what is going on. We appreciate that.

   I think that kids today have it much tougher than we did in the old days. There’s more pressure to succeed and this makes the kids want to grow up faster. Enjoy being a kid and we appreciate that you want us involved in who you’re dating.

   Tom’s great but 14 months? Really…

2. 2. cassidym1&hellip  |  May 9, 2011 at 5:12 pm

   It sure does make it easier knowing that we feel the same way about this topic. This will help to keep the peace when it comes to the people I date because I will allow your input and now you know for sure that I take it into consideration. Also, it will be more peaceful because you and mom can always be sure that I’m not hiding anything from you guys because I know it is all for my safety.

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